And I have a lot of questions about the circus already. Most pressing: how are the tents still up after 50+ years of abandonment? That alone seems really concerning.
I love the pacing of this story. It feels like phantoms, the images half there, mostly gone. Then the handprints-wow-what a strong image to end with. And so creepy that it wasn’t footsteps. Just strange enough to be really uncanny! Can’t wait to finish this!
There are so many thoughtful details in this piece, and they work together so well to evoke the sense of actually being in an abandoned circus.
The food crate, for example, felt really poignant and real to me, especially this line “Some kind of joke about a box of coal to feed the train?” It may seem strange, but that line really connected me to the narrator, so that by the time she is following the handprints and not wanting to turn away, I am right there with her feeling the same way.
Of course, it’s not the single line doing all that work, but rather a culmination of all those small details.
Thank you! This is my first adventure into horror, so I’m glad it’s coming across well. I thought the bit about the coal box was weird too, but it’s hard to argue with a narrator...
Suspense 101, this was SPOOKY and I loved it. You're about to get a ton of notifications, and I'm not sorry.
Here I am at last!
And I have a lot of questions about the circus already. Most pressing: how are the tents still up after 50+ years of abandonment? That alone seems really concerning.
Hmm, the plot thickens... and it's only the first chapter! Perhaps that should have been a warning to our intrepid hero...
I love the pacing of this story. It feels like phantoms, the images half there, mostly gone. Then the handprints-wow-what a strong image to end with. And so creepy that it wasn’t footsteps. Just strange enough to be really uncanny! Can’t wait to finish this!
There are so many thoughtful details in this piece, and they work together so well to evoke the sense of actually being in an abandoned circus.
The food crate, for example, felt really poignant and real to me, especially this line “Some kind of joke about a box of coal to feed the train?” It may seem strange, but that line really connected me to the narrator, so that by the time she is following the handprints and not wanting to turn away, I am right there with her feeling the same way.
Of course, it’s not the single line doing all that work, but rather a culmination of all those small details.
Really lovely writing.
Thank you! This is my first adventure into horror, so I’m glad it’s coming across well. I thought the bit about the coal box was weird too, but it’s hard to argue with a narrator...